I was home and had the tv on with my 1, 2, and 4 year olds...

My story is much like everyone else's. Maddie was at school, and the others were home. Bryan was due to be back from preschool at noon, so he was home for part and not for the other. I had the tv on and it was rattling Good Morning America or something in the background while I was checking my e-mail. I kept trying to "absorb" what I was watching. Everyone's assumption (accident) was far fetched, that it could have been an "error", yet the alternative was clearly far more unbelievable. I ran up to mom's office upstairs and we watched some together. Judy arrived for work, and together we sat and watched. When it fell, I think I did too....and in that moment, like everyone else, I changed me a little, forever. The same range of emotions came tumbling down. Thinking we are sort of untouchable, invincable, and always have a shroud of safety because we are, after all, America.

The beauty...as Kathy said so well...is in the "joining of minds". Like-thinking. Much like some diversity has enormous beauty, so does the passionate "joining" and belonging that was also born then. I held my kids...not wanting to ever put them down again. Wanted to find a way to absorb them back into my body, and keep them there forever. I also wanted to encourage them to LIVE. Find the most valuable things to them, and LIVE them...LOVE people, enjoy being and feeling all that we get to. So many people were robbed of "today" that day...no more "I love you" and no more bedtime stories or a goodnight kiss. I wanted to make sure I never forgot to teach them to live those things, and not just "do" them routinely.

I've always loved the 4th of July. Mostly because so much of the town turns out...and it's the ONE thing that so many people have "in common", no matter how much you make or what color you are or whether you are single or married, parents or not. It's amazing to me, and always is sort of a tear-jerker. It's remarkable...how far away it seems, and how "just a minute ago" it feels too.

I just hope I rememeber to always value the things I brought away that day. Not all the changes were bad ones....but it was such a painful lesson to learn. And I didn't even learn the hardest lesson. I feel so badly for those who did.